I have had a myspace for approximately the last four years and I just signed up for facebook about three months ago. I don’t really hide anything online on either site. I am open about who I am and what my life is like. I personally use both sites to stay in touch with friends and family as well as people I graduated with High School with so long ago.
I reveal information that is not too personal. I do not tell my income, I don’t reveal any information that states where I live exactly or how well off or not well off I am. I keep the information fairly basic because anyone can look you up if you keep your profile public. I do post pictures on both sites, this is the most private information on my profile.
I know there are some people who do distort who they are. One in particular is my sister in law. On her profile she is “average” in body type, she is not average. She is over weight some, not a lot, but some. Another person distorted their income, and others will say things in their “About Me” that is completely not true. I believe people do this to make themselves look better than what they really are. What they distort is usually what they are most insecure about. As a society, and this is especially true for women, we are all insecure about something. For women it is usually something with our bodies and men sometimes are insecure about their job or their income.
According to our text concerning online identity people want to feel “a connection to others through technology.” (pg 54) We all want to be liked and have friends. When online we want to connect with others, I know I do when I am online, so we may distort who or what we are to make ourselves more attractive to those we are talking to. We may make ourselves thinner, richer, taller, or talk about how honest and trustworthy we are even when in reality these things are not true.
“…..Internet technologies offer us the possibility of controlling more aspects of our identity for public consideration than has been possible before” (pg. 57). This is true on both of these sites because we have the key to what we will let the general public know about us and our lives. So someone who is a little over weight can choose to omit this information where as in face-to-face communication we can’t do that. As a society in general people judge others by what they can see physically before talking to the person. Online, a person is not judged first by their outward appearance, instead they are judged by what they choose to reveal about themselves.
Generally speaking most people I know who have a facebook or myspace do tell the truth about who they are what their lives are like in their profiles. There are of course exceptions to the rule.
“We all want to be liked and have friends. When online we want to connect with others, I know I do when I am online, so we may distort who or what we are to make ourselves more attractive to those we are talking to.”
Hey Tammy!
Nice take on things. I enjoyed reading your thoughts.
So, I quoted you above. That seems to be one side of things. But I also think it is worthwile to note how people also ascribe value to any preceeding immediate conversation based on someones looks alone. I will demonstrate with an example I’m sure you could relate to:
Exampe 1: Guy (we’ll call him, Jim) sees lady (we’ll cal her, Pam) with a friend (we’ll call her, Phyllis). Jim thinks Pam is totally hot but thinks Phyllis is overweight. He approaches the table where they are and his conversation with Pam carries more personal value (at least initially) than that with Phyllis because of the physical attraction. (Yes, that was a slight reference to “The Office”)
Ok, so the example is a bit trite. But lets be honest with ourselves by saying it can be difficult to not allow physical appearance to affect our interpersonal communication. I think it is a sign of maturity in a person when they are able to engage conversation without regard to physical appearance; still, it is a factor to be considered.
So, now to my thought. What if the internet provides someone with an opportunity to engage in coversation without being inhibited by thier appearance? I am reading into your post a bit, but I picked up some negative connotations towards altering your identity online. (Forgive me if I’m reading wrong!) In many ways that is where I have found myself when engaging this week’s questions. Anyway, what if by altering the truth someone is able to find an element of engagement in mediated conversations they find absent in immediate interaction? I think all people ougt be valued and viewed as valuable contributors to the conversations they engage in. Yet, that isn’t always the case in this world we occupy. So, in light of that I would totally understand if someone said they were “thin” or “beautiful” (which, is a rediculously subjective and changing standard) just to find meaningful conversation online!
Your thoughts surely got me thinking! Thanks for the post!
All the best,
Yes, I do not like it when people lie about who they are online. I am the type of person who wants to be liked and loved for who I am, not the ficticious person I can make myself out to be. I am a true believer that we should be happy with ourselves, and if we’re not, change what you don’t like. I’m not saying to run out and get plastic surgery, but if you a little overweight go to the gym and improve your eating habits. I just don’t like that as a society in general we are unhappy with who we are and we believe we have to lie about who we are to make friends.