The two people I chose to write letters to were my mom and and my ex-husband (I know that sounds odd but we get along very well). The letter to my mom I wrote long hand. My mother is the not the type of person to use the computer let alone the internet. I knew she wouldn’t receive the letter if I sent it to her email because she only checks it every month or so.
The letter to my ex was written through email. He has his own business so I know he is on his email account multiple times a day. The reason I wrote to him is because although we are not longer married, we have four children together and were married for nearly eleven years. He has had an impact on my life and will continue to as our children grow older. We are friends now and it is the best for us and the children. I also chose to write via email becasue telling him the impact he has had on my life is very personal and I didn’t want to add to the personalness by writing long hand.
The letter to my mom was longer than the one to my ex. I believe it is because I do enjoy writing more than email. Also, when I was writing the email something happened and half the email was erased and I didn’t want to type as much out of frustration. The emailed letter had more relaxed tone and language to it. I think it is more impersonal and I just write more relaxed online.
According to our Online Communication text, communication online does lack the personal touch we have when we are face to face, or writing a letter, to someone. “Initial research into interaction using computer networks seemed to confirm that this cues-filtered-out quality led to an impersonal perception of CMC.” (pg 80) I am able to put a personal touch in my letter by writing out the words and telling my mother how she has helped me thorugh out the years. With my online letter it seemed more fun typing the letter and was more impersonal typing the letter than using my own handwriting to put my words down.
I received an email from my ex-husband by the end of the same day I wrote him. He thanked me and returned comments that I have helped him through some rough times also and the influence I have on him and our children. The letter from my mom received a phone call. She isn’t much of a writer so she called to thank me and talk about what I had written. She was brought to tears from the letter I wrote so that was very touching for both of us.
Another thing I realized when writing these is the nonverbal communication is absent from writing unlike in face to face communication. The text mentions how when we flirt we use nonverbal cues to show interest or other emotions we feel at the time. In both letters this was obviously absent. When I spoke with my mom we were better able to hear what each other felt and thought. Writing the letters was very impersonal, the email was more impersonal to me, than talking to someone in person. But, I will admit I am able to say more in a letter than in person. The impersonalness helps me to completely speak my mind and hold nothing back, probably because there is no judging my words or bad looks or funny faces to what i’ve said.
Tammy- I had much the same experience in doing this assignment as you did. I wrote a long hand letter to my mother as well and she called me as soon as she received it. I think it’s one of those “mom” things where they have to tell about it right away. I agree that writing letters and sending emails is more impersonal than face to face communication and as the text states it’s a “cues filtered out” approach. But, if you study enough hand written letters and really look and read a letter hard enough you can notice several non-verbal cues about them. I notice that I can read some non-verbal cues in letters I receive, such as the style, stationary, and even structure. I can get more of an overall attitude and mood of the author when I read handwritten letters than I do with emails.
I agree with the “mom thing” LOL. My mom thought it was sweet that I took the time to write. She’s going through a hard time right now so it really boosted her spirits. I too can read more into a handwritten letter. My step-sons mother is in prison and we read her letters to him an you can just see the desperation in her letters, she nearly begs for him to write her. I know it’s a sad situation, but one for the best. But her letters are more personal than emails i’ve read.
I’m similar to you in that I can say more in a letter than in person. Writing is often much easier because we’re able to think about what we’re saying and make sure that that’s what we want to say. There’s also no pressure from anybody looking at you or questioning what you’re saying, so you are more free to say what’s on your mind without any influence.